Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
