i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
