nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
