is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
