Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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