I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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