I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
