i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
