I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Randomize
