If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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