The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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