my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
