The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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