Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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