Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
