I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
be right there i have to get my cape
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
