Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
