no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
