All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize