I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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