ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
