What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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