Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.

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(315): View more from New York

You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?

Fav 42 5912 1000
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.

Fav 9 1262 3574
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(786): View more from Florida

If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up

Fav 14 5790 1621
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(253): View more from Washington

No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions

Fav 11 2637 1132
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(315): View more from New York

mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"

Fav 22 5431 2012
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???

Fav 3 926 657
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(206): View more from Washington

The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?

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