Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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