Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wish I only lived at night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
