Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
