I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
