We're like a lot better than the average bears
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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