i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
