it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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