I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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