We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
