I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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