I think i sorta joined a cult last night
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
