I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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