i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's shark week go big or go home
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
