I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Hippo gnu deer
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
