I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
