It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
