Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
