I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my being single is dangerous.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
