I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
