508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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