you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
