I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I need to calm my uterus...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
