I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
