I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
