I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
This is classic penis vs brain.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
