I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize