I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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