he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize