p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
