its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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