like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
BRING THE BAGELS
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize