Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
