Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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