The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize