sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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