It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she pinky promised me she was 18
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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