I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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