We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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