Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize