I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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