My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
