i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
