Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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