This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
