we're blogging at a bar
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
