How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
what day is it and did you see me today?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize