you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
